What is polyamory and kink-friendly therapy?

How is having a kink and polyamory-friendly therapist different from a therapist who is not kink aware and poly friendly? In kink and polyamory-friendly therapy, your lifestyle will be accepted and respected. You will be accepted just as you are. This includes those of you who are interested in exploring kink, are already a kinkster or are/want to be involved in a polyamorous relationship, or other consensual non-monogamy. When you meet with a kink and polyamory-friendly therapist, this area of your life is free to discuss without the worry of judgement, embarrassment or shame, and maybe more importantly, without your sexual interests, or relationship structure, being seen as “the issue.” 

In kink and polyamory-affirming therapy your treatment goals will not be reflective of your sexuality and desires, or your relationship structure, unless that is something you specifically want to work on. I won’t try to “fix” or “change” your sexual practices or your desired relationship structure. Instead, I will look to help you integrate kink, polyamory, or consensual non-monogamy into your life and relationships while working to dispel any feelings of shame or guilt that might be tied to them. Let’s face it, in a culture that continues to promote and highlight monogamous relationships and “conventional” sexual practices there can be a lot of shame associated with being less conventional. The way you express yourself sexually, and in a relationship, is unique to each of you and is healthy as long as it is practiced in a safe and consensual way.

As a kink-aware and polyamory-friendly therapist, I can also help create a space for you and your partner(s) to discuss sexual desires and relationship structure while making sure everyone feels heard, supported, and safe to begin exploring. I will help you develop skills to make the process easy and navigate any potential attachment concerns that arise. Kink and polyamory-friendly therapy can also significantly help you and your partner(s) navigate your sexual desires and find ways to satisfy each other’s needs in a way that feels good for everyone.

I will also help you better understand yourself and your relationships with others while developing communication and boundary setting skills through frameworks such as Nonviolent Communication (NVC) . Communication and boundary setting are important when beginning a polyamorous relationship, or exploring kink, in order to navigate terms and advocate for your needs. Making sure that all partners feel respected and important will help to make a polyamorous relationship, or a kinky scene/exploration, exactly what you want, and not what you DON’T want. 

Whether you are interested in individual work, or relationship therapy, I can help. I have extensive experience working with people who identify as poly, kink, and other consensually non-monogamous relationship styles. Working with me, you will have the space to be how you are, while gaining clarity on what is standing in the way of you living your best life. This often looks like exploring your desires and needs, working through feelings of shame or guilt, communicating your sexual needs to your partner, setting boundaries within your relationship in a way that all partners feel accepted, or finding ways to play out your desires in a safe, healthy, and consensual way

Each relationship is different. I look forward to knowing about yours and helping you have your best, most secure connections.